February is the Month of Love, and many couples are thinking about ways to wow their partners with some extra romance. Going all out to celebrate your love each year is very special, but don’t forget about keeping the spark alive every day—in and out of the bedroom. Each couple is unique and relational needs change over time along with life’s other changes. And with some healthy habits, there’s no reason your love life can’t be as romantic as you and your partner want it to be.
We’ve gathered expert advice on how to keep the romance alive—in the bedroom and out—to help you and your partner experience a lasting connection physically and emotionally. And yes, having the right mattress actually makes a difference.
7 Tips to Bring Romance Back to the Bedroom, Including the Best Mattress for Romance
Romance doesn’t begin and end in the bedroom, but that’s where couples experience much of their physical and emotional intimacy. Your bedroom can be your sanctuary, where you can be vulnerable with your partner and have time together without distractions. Spicing up this special space takes a fresh attitude toward romance, a sense of adventure and little creativity. Ready to light a fire and learn how to keep the romance alive in the bedroom?
- Don’t Rush Improvements
There’s more to romance than sex, but it’s definitely an important part of sharing your life and your home with a partner. Research has shown that the longer couples stay together, the less frequently they have sex. Having less sex or not feeling completely infatuated with your partner at all times is perfectly normal and not necessarily something to worry about, but together you can improve any element of your love life.
If you’re trying to figure out how to bring romance back in the bedroom, start by defining what romance means in your relationship. Set some long-term romance goals without pressuring yourselves to make improvements over night. If you rush your love life, you could end up even more frustrated and stressed. Stress can make you feel even less sexy and less emotionally available to your partner. Instead, focus on enjoying your time together as much as possible in the present moment.
- Put Intimacy First
Sometimes the mood strikes, but then you go to bed too tired to so much as cuddle before you fall asleep. That can even happen after a great date. Yikes. But if one of your goals is to make more magic happen in the bedroom, then you’ve got to prioritize intimacy.
Several relationships experts including Jessa Zimmerman, recommend setting aside time to reconnect as a couple, whether that means talking, cuddling or having sex—it’s all about being present with each other and blocking out the rest of the world for 10-30 minutes a day. Enjoy this time before you get ready for work or as you’re getting ready for bed to make it more sex-friendly, and you’ll be amazed at how much easier it is to rekindle a spark when it has your full attention.
- Be Romantic Outside the Bedroom
As you work on how to keep the romance alive in the bedroom, remember the big picture. You can make romance part of your relationship rather than something you experience only on Valentine’s Day and your anniversary…when you remember when that is. Otherwise, it will be tough to flip a switch from your everyday life to your romantic time. The Relationship Learning Center has several ideas for showing affection and experiencing intimacy in small ways.
Write your partner sweet, sexy notes to tell them you’re thinking about them. Bring home flowers or their favorite treat after work. Make each other feel special and attractive on a regular basis, so you feel more sensual and romantic during the time you’ve set aside for intimacy.
- Get a Good Night’s Sleep
Sleeping well is one of the best ways to improve your health and give your relationship a boost at the same time. Obviously, getting better sleep will eliminate the problem of being too tired for romance at the end of the day. But high-quality sleep has even more benefits, like making you and your partner more interested in having sex in the first place. Part of this has to do with the way sleep replenishes important hormones like testosterone and estrogen, but sleep also gives couples a greater sense of security and peace in their relationship.
For some couples, trying to get a good night’s sleep can be a point of tension, because their mattress doesn’t meet both of their needs. Yes, you have to make some compromises in your relationship, but when it comes to sleep satisfaction, you shouldn’t have to. Comfort Control™ sleep technology gives isense sleepers the power to adjust the comfort and support of each side of the bed independently…without that awkward ridge you feel down the center of other adjustable mattresses. You’ll sleep better on an isense adjustable mattress with a cozy “cuddle zone” right in the middle.
- Get Creative with Date Night
If you’re thinking, “What date night?” then you definitely need to keep reading. According to a recent story in Psychology Today, weekly date nights help build an emotional connection with your partner, which in turn enhances desire and romance. Making date nights part of your lifestyle doesn’t have to mean expensive restaurants and babysitters every single week, though. Just do something special with your favorite person.
To save money and avoid having to find a good babysitter, you might have to get creative, but that can make your dates more fun anyway. Pack a picnic or go to a free museum day. If you have kids, wait for them to go to bed or arrange for them to spend a few hours with friends or family while you cook a gourmet dinner together. There are so many great date ideas that you can adapt to your lifestyle and budget.
- Be Adventurous Together and Apart
Having adventures together is an important part of any long-term relationship. We’re not just talking about trying new things in bed, either. When we face the thrill of unknown places and new experiences, our bodies produce dopamine, a hormone that enhances feelings of pleasure. As you make a habit of trying new things as a couple, your brain starts to associate your time together with excitement and pleasure. This is great for your relationship in general and specifically for keeping romance alive in the bedroom. Adventures could involve anything from simply trying a new restaurant together to skydiving. Plan something intriguing to add an extra spark to your weekly date night.
Enjoying adventures independently can help kindle romance in your home as well. Take a weekend trip with your closest friends to explore a new city. Not only will you and your partner miss your alone time together—and your amazing adjustable bed—but you’ll also have new stories and ideas to share with your partner. You’ll feel intriguing and interesting, like you’ve brought the adventure home.
- Tell Each Other What You Want
Keeping or bringing back the romance in your life starts with telling your partner what you want and listening to them. Hey, you may know that this person will be there at the end of the day, but that doesn’t mean you should take your commitment for granted. They’ll love hearing that you want to turn up the romance whether you’ve been together two years or two decades. That’s why you’re reading this article, after all. Get excited that you’re taking this step to learn how to bring romance back in the bedroom.
We’ve created the First Mattress Designed for Couples™ because we want you to experience all the health and relational benefits of a great night’s sleep together. With the right habits and a commitment to keeping the fire burning, you can experience a more romantic and satisfying relationship this month and beyond.